This morning, on Facebook, a friend of mine posted this quote by Robert Brault: “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got”. All of us at some point in life expected an apology from someone else. We hold our pain like a shield, thinking we own that “apology” to feel better, to make it fair. And maybe we too didn’t apologize as well when we should have done it. But, and this is my point, what is all this fuzz about a word? Does a single tiny “I’m sorry” really matter? Your pain won’t change. Your past won’t change. Nothing will be repaired by an apology. Nothing at all. If you break a cup and then you apologize to it saying aloud “I am sorry” while standing half naked in your kitchen, I am pretty sure that the cup will remain broken and if you are living with someone else they will start questioning your sanity. Same thing if after cheating on your spouse and leaving for the Caribbean with your fling, you go back to them to apologize. They wouldn’t care. What’s broken remains broken. If they would accept you back, they won’t do it cause you are sorry. They will do it for their own reasons. Whatever these may be. After my ex left me for another woman, I spent countless nights fantasizing about him coming back to me and saying he was wrong and he was sorry. It didn’t happen and for good. Because I moved on and now my life is better. Today, if my ex come back apologizing I wouldn’t care. That “apology” doesn’t matter anymore. We give to people the power to hurt us. We give them importance and we make them “matter”. But at a certain point, when we decide to take back that power, we change our life somehow. Waiting for an apology, thinking of owning an apology is digging into our pain and feeding our ego, is giving away our power; it’s a self- inflicted wound for which we blame others. My mother says often that it’s too easy saying you are sorry. And she is right. Offering an apology means nothing. If you really want to apologize with someone else you hurt, what you should do is trying to make things right. You repair to the wrong you have done not just with a word but with your actions. Any other way to apologize, it’s, well, just meaningless. I’ve seen so many times people apologizing to me for something they have done, and then, after a while, behaving in the same exact way. If not with me, with someone else, doesn’t matter. And I understood that, beside the fact that I am eventually surrounded by idiots, this was happening because they didn’t change. They were the same dudes, making the same mistakes over and over. I was changed. They weren’t. And those apologies were just a quick way to make themselves feel better. Maybe they were actually honest. Maybe they meant those “I am sorry”. But this doesn’t change anything. An apology is something we overuse. It is a precious gift when it comes with a real personal improvement. Otherwise it’s just a murmur that the wind easily blows away.